Ok, from now on my updates won't b regular but they will be to the point and how i feel. If u wanna know current events, then talk to me or e-mail me. Otherwise i'll just be talkin bout other stuff. All other things aside i just miss a lot of ppl, 6 people probably the closest and best friends i could ask for have left in the past two months or so and another is leaving this month. As i've already said I don't know why I feel like this, and I know it's not right but I'm not letting go of these people and I know I'm letting my heart go with them all piece by piece. Yet I can't let go because they are simply ppl i can't replace, don't want to and I know i will never connect and share the moments I had wen they were with me. We didn't even need to speak, just being together and knowing we were there a hundred percent for eachother and it was more than enough. Now I feel like I can't let them go. Not because there aren't ppl here for me or that I feel deserted I just feel left behind because they're experiencing new things and ppl and i know that they have a focus and direction, but I'm still where I was, just doing the same skool work but without them here now. I want to follow an old Irish saying, a bit modified "Work like you don't need the  money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching." I think i did once but now all I can remember is the ones I never really got to say the things i wanted to to. I want to move on but I need the memories of them and I don't want to let go because I feel like that's all i'll ever be, and it won't get better. A bit too deep for my first entry in so long, but it's there like it or not take it or leave it. That's me.